I've been enjoying the new army jobs ad. Slow motion machine guns, cool armoured vehicles, football. All with a hip urban beat. Reminded me a little of a South Park episode where Vietnam veterans reminisce on the ups and downs of combat in the jungle. "We had a badass rollercoaster but... all we wanted was a log ride,' says one forlorn veteran. 'We waited and we waited but they never built us one."
The Army ad doesn't even mention rollercoasters, and it doesn't say what the pay rate or death rate is, and not much about post-traumatic disorder and the like. But the advert is selling a lifestyle, a macho cool that is sure to make the ladies go all weak. Surely it's worth the risk. Maybe some of 'our boys' don't even need log rides and footie. Sometimes people genuinely like killing people, which you can also do in the army. You can kill bad guys, and occasionally good guys. You can get so out of your head that you can't tell the difference anymore, or decide to take a few happy snaps next to a newly expired enemy.
The incredibly posh Victorian hangover scientist J. B. S. Haldane remarked that he 'enjoyed the opportunity of killing people' during WW1. That's the kind of spirit we need for our troops! High on Medal of Honour and propaganda and ready to fire! But Haldane became a raving Marxist, which, perhaps the Army would frown upon.
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