The EU elections are tomorrow, but I'm not voting. Am I Russell Brand? No. The main reason is that I haven't bothered registering since coming back to the UK.
But the better sounding reason is this. The whole debate is bastardised into some in/out referendum. Clegg and Farage, neatly representing caricatures of in and out, offered us the only (potentially) meaningful debate, and was consumed by a meaningless trade-off of bad puns, rhetoric and dubious statistics. And it was about in or out. Since then, the media has been on a Nigel high, using any excuse to get him and his pint into the news. "Nigel's booming support!" "Nigels a raving racist!" etc. The media level their judgements, and good old Nige blames immigrants and, ultimately, the EU. Again, are we in or out? Then, in reports which sound like obituaries, Clegg dribbles out something about being the "party of in", saying "of course" all the time. "Of course there are problems, of course we need improvements, of course no one believes a word I say..." Vote Lib Dem if you want to be in Europe... um, we already are!
Then the other two parp up to say nothing much. Blue offer a referendum, red offer it if an exchange of powers happens. Once more – twice more! – it's about in or out. The Greens, pushed down into 5th place by the masturbatory anti-eu obsessives, are forced to use what slither of airtime they get by stating their own case for "in", and also supporting a referendum. They tend to list some achievements that the EU has made (and admirably often look beyond narrow "British" interests to a wider picture). Fair enough, but it's still about in or out. No MEP is going to Europe with a mandate to get a referendum, the whole farce is a symbolic argument about competing ideas of patriotism and interest. As long as the argument remains purely symbolic, not about EU policies, people will feel alienated by Europe and they'll mostly want to leave. I don't blame them. Even I want to leave!
But I can't shout loud enough to remind them that this EU election isn't a referendum. It's actually about sending people there to vote on things. What things? I don't know, they never say!
The process of the European parliament is a little hazy to me. Do they just vote? Can they debate? Or propose bills? I'm not sure. But here are a few suggestions of what to campaign on – realistic or not, procedural or not – starting with the most prescient. (These are suggestions which cover the spectrum, not necessarily things I want to happen).
- disbanding the EU
- making the placement of the numerous presidents' into a position secured by democratic elections
- an end to the agriculture policy
- borders up everywhere, no more free movement
- reform of the EUs parliamentary procedure
- agrarian socialism across the board
- tougher stance on Russia
- changes to the European aid budget
- environmental targets
- changes to human rights legislation
- European space programme
- the end of private finance initiatives
- no more austerity
- take Israel to court over crimes against Palestinians.
Like I say, I don't associate myself with these ideas, they're just principles that go beyond "in and out", which MEPs could endorse or argue against. I admit though that it's the agricultural policy which grinds my gears the most – hypocritical, neoliberal and unfair, and from that policy I make my judgement about the general principles of the EU. But that's not the point. The point is that when people want to get elected, they should offer something more than either supporting or condemning the institution that they're getting elected to. I guess Ukip's OK for not talking about anything else, because their tiny brains can't think beyond the in/out question. The rest should talk about what they'd stand for in Europe, even if it includes a referendum.
Anyway, like I said, the reason I'm not voting is because I can't be arsed. So there.
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